• THE SELF DESTRUCTION OF LCH
• THE EXORCISM OF LCH
• THE SELF DICOVERY OF LCH
WOW! So the past few years have been a heck of a journey for me. I’ve met so many different sides of myself that I never would’ve comprehended existed! The amount of different characters that I’ve transformed into have often left me gazing in the mirror questioning who the fuck I actually am &&& if I’m even human!?!?
2013 was the year that I’d say I “woke up” spiritually”. There were some specific chains of events that I believe aided this awakening of mine (however I don’t particularly wish to share them right now). Everything changed. I became a different Latoya. A new Latoya. Something inside me snapped and I was carrying a new energy about me. But at times it was so new, so fresh, so intense that I was bound for self destruction (or at least that’s what it’d appear to come across as in the eyes of society). The minute I decided to actively persue fashion styling – it’s as if a part of my brain was unlocked and a new level of creativity took over my soul in more ways than one. I began swinging from ALLL angles.
It’s as if Latoya the artist was officially born!
I feel like when you’re living in such a system, then you suddenly “wake up” you’re bound to go abit insane at first and I did!
• It started with my style changing and me adopting a severe appreciation for the colour Black!
• Next was the creativity and me truely realising and unlocking these gifts. Which all seemed to come in abundance!
• Next was my sexuality. I became more in touch with my sexual side. I embraced this and displayed it via my style and actions: I wouldn’t say I was “promiscuous” but I definitely became much more open sexually!
• I literally just did anything I felt like doing. Which inevitably proved to be both benificial and detrimental.
As much as I know that I was spiritually awakened. I’m also convinced that I had a new source of FIRE in my soul. A Darkness. Something was definitely troubling me and it’s almost as if I were constantly trying to exorcise myself of this something – which resulted in me having certain episodes. I began battling with some SERIOUS demons. As a result I developed a profound ruthless and rebellious attitude – particularly toward the system. Now if you wanna talk 0-100, maaaate, I completely SNAPPED!!!
• I’d eat in restaurants without paying (because I could no longer understand why we have to pay for something designed to keep us alive)
• I’d travel on the trains and tubes without paying (I used to bunk the oyster barriers)
• I completely stopped paying my rent ~ which resulted in me being evicted from my council accommodation
• I smashed up my TV and stopped reading newspapers
• I became somewhat notorious online: I would send for people anytime I strongly felt the need
•My makeup had “gothic” elements to it & I’d draw a black crucifix on my forehead
• I walked the streets naked on at least 3 different occasions
• I attempted drug dealing
• I was sectioned in a psychiatric unit of a mental hospital for a month, after threatening to murder a racist white police officer
• I attempted to take my own life
• I served time in jail on two separate occasions
• The type of people that I began to attract and get on with were on a DIFFERENT level
TO BE CONTINUED…..
I have soO much love for what society calls “Roadman” “Thugs” “Juveniles” etc… I really do! Believe it or not these are the type of folk that I get on with the most. These guys are soO misunderstood and rejected that it’s unbelievable – no wonder they end up committing such callous crimes at times.
• The level of intelligence
• The level of energy
• The heart
• The passion
• The level of talent
• The level of charisma
Yet time and time again the media wants to portray pictures of low life, notorious thugs that commit senseless crimes. I can assure you that this is never the case. Ever. It’s the system.
• This fucking system.
• This racist system.
• This evil system
When a human being is born with a profound amount of energy and intelligence – yet they are born into oppression, a system and therefore trapped. They’re bound to snap and act out in certain ways. Particularly when they get to a certain age where they’re mature enough to make a conscious decision NOT to adapt into the “righteous”, robotic way of society and the system.
Last year I made a decision to make some money via drug dealing. I had had enough! I’d made money legitimately by working paid jobs and I’d also had a stint of receiving benifits. I snapped and felt trapped so I decided to take a risk and touch the roads. The timing of the opportunity presented itself perfectly as well, it was mad! I felt confident, wise and smart enough to survive this kind of lifestyle. I was ready. All or nothing!……..Listen I lasted a week kmt. 1 week alone. That’s it. My character was too extreme and eccentric for the cause. After which, resulted in me attempting to take my life because I felt so incredibly lost and disappointed in myself. WHAT AN EPIC FAIL!!!
But during that week I met some of the most lovely, intelligent and spiritual guys that I’ve ever met in my life! I will never forget them and they will never know how much they helped me and opened my eyes. (Yes I already knew some roadmen and still do but I never attempted or associated myself with the lifestyle per say)…
It’s not easy you know – which is why I wanna SALUTE them! There are some God’s on road! Seriously powerful guys that are (believe it or not) profoundly in touch with energy and the universe – almost by default. Nah they’re God’s!
One way or another we’re all victims of the system in a sense. But these guys pretty much risk their freedom on a daily basis – just so that they can be free (if that even makes sense). It’s not their fault. They’re energy and intelligence is too high to be slowed down into the system or roboticness of society.
I have a lot of love for you Road guys out there I can see your heart…
Personally, the idea of “settling down”, having a house, husband and children – basically the whole “happy family” thing really doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. I know for a fact that I will absolutely get bored. Now! When Latoya gets bored and feels as though she is trapped in a situation, it’s a very very dangerous thing that could potentially end up in death.
I’m constantly evolving.
I believe that we meet people and connect for a reason. That person might be very necessary for you at that particular time on your journey and yes love may blossom! However! There is no obligation to stay or commit your life to someone. There’s something about “relationships” which holds a strong underlying level of insecurity to it in my opinion. I feel like it automatically comes with an invisible pressure of commitment- which makes many people unhappy in theirs!
(Some folk lack confidence and they end up finding a sense of happiness and security in each other – which I think is sad, draining and dangerous)
I’m not willing to compromise who I am for nothing or knowone. I was born to be free and I like to keep it moving!!
I already feel like I was born into a world which has systematically mapped out a plan of my life for me: school, college/uni, work, marriage, kids, work, work, work, retire. DIE. And I’m thinking FUCK THAT, I’m doing things my way mate (inshallah)
I wonder how we’d all live if this generic map wasn’t imposed upon us. I wonder if people would be more free spirited, happier and fearless. Or – If we’d have absolute and utter MAYHEM…who knows?!?!
I know what does and doesn’t work for me and committing my soul to one person for my entire life really isn’t my style. It’s a myth.
I’m always changing my mind when it comes to kids and whether I would or wouldn’t like to have them. The idea of bringing offspring into this particular fucked up world that we’re living in today almost scares me! But at the same time, I’m sure that whatever’s meant to happen certainly will. So! If I do, I’d like to have an INTERNATIONAL ARMY: I’d like to have 2 black kids first (it’s so imperative that I do my bit to continue on the Black race!). Then all other races are welcome after that, I’m talking white, oriental, Asian, Hispanic, everything.
I AM DEAD SERIOUS.
And we won’t be sitting at a massive table eating a lovely family meal on some bullshit. NOPE! I’ll be sending them out to cause ABSOLUTE HAVOC in this world and take overrr (on some “Santa’s little helpers” type shit) DONE KNOW!!
MY KIDS ARE GONNA BE SoO SAVAGE OMG! Oi LISTEN AS SOON AS I BREED IT’S WRAP FOR THIS WORLD. 100%
Today has already been super blessed. I saw Ashley Verse in Clapham Common and we cleared the air. He accepted my apology for being rude to him online..
Life’s good man. I hope everyone’s having a blessed day!
P.S. Instagram is pure paganism but FUCK IT let’s boogie woogie
Look babe I know ur game. Understand that I am NOT playing along with you simply coz I’m not a fan of game playing. Yh.
God bless you. I wish you peace and happiness and I pray you get everything you want plus more u fuckin pagan.
The way I am CARRYING U. My garrd
+ the truth always prevails babe +
- Man said I finally copped a pair of black high top forces. And all the rest…
Furthermore 98% of the staff in NikeTown were moving abit nuts today, wagwan?. The only 2 that kept it g were Jeff or Geoff ((who I had to spud) and the piff lightie at the counter in women’s who served me and thought I was a Muslim coz of the way I was dressed. Nah we had a decent convo still, it was calm
Sometimes I wish I could push 1 button & blow up the whole of London ~ drop me out of this bullshit. This is hell on Earth.
NEXT UP IS GHana. Mark my words. Kmt!