+ Cheats n Thieves +

Anyone that thinks they can:

“Steal” ideas from me.

“Target” me as vulnerable easy prey …..&

“Use” me and “keep me there” in order to help their pathetic cause

“Spy On me online” …but don’t care for me or my child in real life

Pattern me up to be a Latoya that suits them”…or better yet “The Old Latoya” smh


• You wanna “take, take, take” shit from LATOYA. You look down on me as being just another “sad, angry, bitter, black female”

U FAiiL to understand the emotional pain & invisible hefty cross that black females have to carry throughout our whole entire lives.

• Things have become soO ridiculous that our own “brothers, sons, husbands, nephews, friends, colleagues, you name it….” are the one’s treating us the absolute worst. They’ve gassed these light skinned idiots up into actually thinking that they’re the shit. Yet still, somehow the light skinned females remain confused & insecure

• It doesn’t matter whether it’s a “shy, timid, humble, lady like, vulnerable & weak” black female

•….or a “ratchet, loud mouth, no manners, no decorum, no style, no guidance, resilient, extremely strong personality” black female


• Let’s boogy woogy & PATTERN !!!


It makes me laugh so hard when some of these light skinned girls try to befriend me: the type that hate their mum’s who are dark skinned black & they think I don’t know what they’re on…..They gradually start trying to project their racism & all round HATE towards black females (including their mums) onto me. I could name some names but I’m not gonna bother – I’ll just wait until I hear of their death…

• Babes look, I’ve got your number init. I’ve seen your type way too many times before now & its fucking boring. You’re all the same in the end




• BUT “Latoya’s crazy”

• No babe! It’s way to easy to simply just “be crazy”

• There’s more to the story so keep your eyes peeled. OR. mind your own BLOODCLART business.

• Your choice…

• Latoya Casely-Hayford

+ MOTHERHOOD: the journey so far +

Lemme just start with saying this: I don’t have a good relationship with my mum so I’m trying to break the cycle and be best friends with my daughter for life no matter what. I want her to know that MUMMY HAS YOUR BACK NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL SUPPORT YOU ALWAYS & FOREVER IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU GO THROUGH. YOU ARE MY CHILD, MY FLESH & BLOOD, THEREFORE I DARE NOT PROJECT ANY FORM OF SELF HATE, EMOTIONAL PAIN OR ANGER DUE TO THE ABSENCE OF YOUR FATHER ONTO YOU. It’s not your fault Sweet Angel, for you didn’t ask to be born!!

My pregnancy was fucking lonely but also went quite smoothly in terms of me not having any complications with the baby.

I was 2 weeks overdue so I ended up having to be induced. Initially I wanted my mum and younger sister to be my birthing partners, but to my dismay, when I text my sister on the morning of my induction to see if she was ready – she broke the news to me that she’d been ordered to stay at home by my mum. She wasn’t allowed to come. AFTER HEARING THIS SHIT, I WAS FUCKING LIVID!! I CALLED MY MUM STRAIGHT AWAY TO ASK HER WHAT SHE WAS PLAYING AT & SHE TOLD ME SHE’D EXPLAIN WHEN SHE PUSSYCLART SEE’S ME. Fair enough if she has her reasons or whatever but I don’t understand why this wasn’t communicated to me beforehand so that I could emotionally prepare myself for the disappointment ONCE AGAIN!!

My mum then phoned me back a few minutes later asking me if I want her there or not because she doesn’t want any “confrontation” kmt. I said “it’s up to you…”

So anywhoo I went to meet my mum at the hospital, the vibe…

TO BE CONTINUED: writing this is making me slightly angry so I’ll return once I’ve calmed down. Lemme just go somewhereand calm my clart down saaaaarriious

Baby girl was NOT amused by my loud mouth in these videos looooool. I wonder what she’d say to me if she could speak? Or maybe she’d just walk away…



I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM OF SELF HATE. I’ve been down that road before and I ended up becoming a major threat to society. WANDSWORTH POLICE knew more about me than I ever could’ve comprehended. (Fair enough I might’ve done a likkle 1,2 low level crime but boy oh boy had they been watching my clart for ages)

This trolling shit is in my blood – on top of which I AM MY MOTHER’s CHiiLD: if you know about my mums track record & antics, then you know. But if you don’t, I’m sure you’ll just think that she’s an extremely nice lady lol.

So here goes:





IT WAS A SET-UP! 1000%”

ii CANNOT GET THIS OFF OF MY MIND & IT’S BEEN OVER A YEAR SINCE IT HAPPENED.on the night of the 1 year anniversary I was just sitting at home with my daughter, thinking about it, thinking about it, thinking about it.tryna put myself in the position of the people dem that were trapped inside the building. Fucking HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!



I remember last year sitting down watching the news with my Grandad and seeing this story break…straight away I turned to my Grandad and said “IT WAS A SET-UP!!” I could feel it in my soul that this was a diplomatic orchestrated ATTACK! (In that same week that it happened: Beyoncé had her twins & then my Grandad died. Listen shit was really popping orrrffffffff in the spiritual world boiiii) Honestly when I saw the block on fire I just thought “this is definitely hell on Earth”





+ LCH +

+ L A T O Y A +


Have u asked urself why ur always spying on me? Why do you keep checking my blog? What is it that I can pussyclart do to help you please?????????!?!?!!!

+ DROP DEAD!…or come & play with me in my playground & we can be friends! YaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaY+

“give me ur soul then we can roc n roll” ~ LCH

+ ii HAD 2 CH3CK MY LiiF3 +


So a couple of weeks ago (when KANY3 was all over the media for sharing his opinion on things) I found myself getting drawn in on a DIFFERENT LEVEL!!!… which lead to me having to check my whole entire life over.

Listen! I was online all over YouTube comments, as well as Instagram, trolling and defending this guy to the CORE! I went after 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg & the guy from TMZ who had the audacity to try and argue with KANYE. dickhead….

While I was doing all of this in defence of MR WEST – a small part of me was praying that my savagery would get noticed by someone on a well recognised platform & eventually get to the viewing of Y3 himself but despite my ambitious efforts, none of that happened. I didn’t even get to go head to head with 50 Cent like I wanted to. How sad!

When I realised that I wasn’t getting anywhere with my trolling efforts – I had to sit back and check my life like “Yo Latoya! …so you mean to say that you’ve just given birth to a precious baby girl and when she’s asleep, in your spare time, instead of you doing the sensible thing (which is to also get some rest) you’re online trolling and passionately defending a guy (KANYE) that doesn’t even know that you exist?!Everything that you’re doing makes absolutely 0 difference to his life….in fact, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??”

Things got pretty d33p when I then trolled 2 of my own family members and s3nt them some fuckeries dm’s via instagram. I really went innnn with what I said to them (which I will absolutely not disclose publicly under any circumstances – it’s too personal) They both blocked me and I’ve not spoken to either of them since.

So basically, despite all of the shit that I was talking in my previous post “RIP LATOYA THE TROLL” I’ve broken the promise that I made to myself…this trolling syndrome is fully embedded in me. Fuck sake man. I’m just gonna have to accept and embrace it fully now…

FiiNAL PUSSYCLART THOUGHT: “Latoya you always have and always will be a sensational internet troll! You love it! You have a lot of FUN with it & your words are powerful. Never forget that BITCH BOY Chris Brown blocked you when you weren’t even intentionally trolling – as a matter of fact, all that you even said to the DICKHEAD was Dude, you’re extremely talented but you need to humble yourselfand the absolute and utter PUSSYHOLE blocked you. LCH you’ve got this!!…And 1 day, just 1 day – you will take this bullshit to the main stage” & shmoist people who deserve it on a grander scale I PROMISE YOU. JUST.DONT.GIVE.UP.”

+ AMEN +

+ Racism Is Lame +





Racism in all forms is completely lame and disgustingly ignorant! I feel like being racist is one of THE most idiotic and hateful things to be. Someone who is racist is blocking themselves from potentially having some beautiful relationships with people.

One of the privileges of my upbringing is that we were taught to be open minded and welcoming toward people no matter what their race – more based on who they are as individuals, not the colour of their skin. It’s only as I got older that I encountered this, that and the fucking other..

I think that it’s so important not to let the world turn you dark!

Its so important to keep an open mind and LOVE for people in your heart!

I’m quite ashamed to say that I’ve been there before…I’ve been angry at the world and had a racist rant or two in the past and it did me NO favours whatsoever! All that I ended up doing was wounding myself and giving others a reason to be racist towards me – that’s how I came to learn that racism breeds racism and it’s the dumbest vicious cycle! Plus it wasn’t me – it wasn’t who I am deep down at heart. (I had watched the movie “12 Years A Slave” and I snapped. I took it in soO deep that I became angry and hurt towards white people – but thankfully I eventually snapped out of that mindset).

I’m blessed to know and have met beautiful people of all different races and I cannot wait to have an international army of kids!

It’s great to be proud of who you are and absolutely OWN IT: you roots; your heritage. But don’t forget to embrace other cultures, learn and keep an open mind too!!

Lots of Love From Toya xxx


Have any of you ever had the displeasure of watching either of these shows? Well these links below will give you just a liiittle taste of each incase you haven’t:



Unfortunately I have had the displeasure of viewing these shows before and none of them sat well with me in the slightest!

BKCHAT London is a YouTube web series. From my understanding, it’s meant to be a debate show in which one main topic is discussed per episode. The cast consists of an all black male and female panel, ranging in age from around their early to late 20’s. Lord have absolute mercy on this show.

  • the lack of decorum
  • the lack of decorum

There is absolutely no structure whatsoever. No respect for each other’s opinions. All that the cast seem to do is shout over each other and shut each other down for having opposing opinions. When I watched an episode, I was eagerly trying to hear them all out and get my own head into the debate which proved to be impossible. The bloody shouting, my God!

Another thing that I noticed was the lack of variety within the cast. Most of them seemed to cut from the same cloth, thus coming from a similar walk of life: the 2 cast members that were slightly left and eccentric with their views almost seemed to get bullied and singled out just for having certain views. I really don’t appreciate the level of ignorance that is portrayed in this show whatsoever. As much as I tried as a viewer to take in what was being discussed, I was left in a state of confusion and with a pounding headache!

I love a healthy debate and I think we can learn a lot from each other from having them, while sharing knowledge too. But I can assure you that there is FUCK ALL to be taken away from this show. Frankly, it’s pollution that needs to be removed and taken offline!

Love And Hip Hop is a show that I’ve only had the displeasure of watching maybe 2 or 3 times (this is mainly due to spending an excessive amount of time last summer with a cousin that is obsessed with trash tv and I allowed myself to get sucked in) This show is toxic and disgusting. I don’t even know where to start or if I should even bother going into it. It’s puppetisation at it’s peak. You know what? I’ve decided. I’m not even going to go into detail about this show. I just know that it needs to be scrapped and thrown off air completely. What a disgrace! What a poor depiction and representation of a race….a “human” race.

See, the thing that I believe that these two shows have in common is the way in which they puppetise the cast (who are all desperate enough to exploit themselves in such a classless manner as a means of building a platform for whatever fame campaign that they’re running for themselves) I find it so sad how desperate folks are nowadays for fame and stardom at any cost, without having any real substance or purpose: just pure money chasing and attention seeking. Why? It’s a road to hell and self sabotage..!

I was so incredibly glad when I got the answer “No!” from my 15 year old younger sister when I asked her if she indulges in watching any of these shows. WHAT A RELIEF! Like I’ve already said – nothing can be learnt from them. They are bottom of the barrel tv that needs to be boycotted. I for sure, will not be tuning in again. Ever!

+ I’m Not Comfortable +

I’m not comfortable with how powerful technology has become and the amount of time that we’re spending on it. It’s stupendously detrimental but we as a human race, have become so complacent and so comfortable with it. It’s normal for people to sit at home on their laptops or phones for hours on end on the internet in their spare time now. We’re not even realising what we’re doing or how much time we’re dedicating to it.

This whole internet phenomenon has me feeling super uncomfortable like I don’t belong here! It’s fucking with me coz I’m not blind to how it’s consumed people and how distracted we are by it. I wish there was something that I could do about it.

But to be honest – YES I’m uncomfortable but NO I’m not angry anymore with this whole technology thing and how much time and attention it consumes. There’s no point in being angry because the fact is, nothing’s gonna stop it! It’s 2018 and social media and the internet are here to stay no matter how I or anyone else feels about it.

But what I would like and advise is for folks to be more conscious of what they’re consuming when they’re online. There’s a lot of bullshit out there and it’s really messing people up without them realising it…damn.

I sure have made a conscious decision to be very mindful and spend as little time online as possible too. The last thing that I want is for the new infant life of my child, who is going to have a mind like a sponge, to see me sitting around for hours on end on any form of device. Of course it’ll make them eager to get their little hands on this device too and see what all the obsession is about. It’s not good for us complex, creative humans that are capable of so so much, instead we’re sitting down like lifeless cabbages, staring at a screen for hours and consuming pointless bullshit. We’re putting far too much value in whatever it is that we’re looking for online…DAMN!


So if you’ve read my previous post “What A Heck Of A Year” you’d know that I’m currently pregnant and that I was seeing the father of the baby up until I told him that I was pregnant and refused to have an abortion like he wanted me to. Which was therefore the end of our little thing that we had going on between us. The guy declared that he wants nothing to with both me and our baby and has since cut off all forms of contact.

WELL GUESS WHAT??It turns out that the deceitful motherfucker was married the whole damn time! Yep the other day I managed to track down a lady via instagram – who for whatever reason, I assumed was his sister or a relative of some sort but she actually turned out to be his WIFE OF 7 YEARS!! I was in complete and utter shock mate I tell ya.

While I was seeing this cunt, he’d often commute back and forth from Paris to London and vise versa. Paris being his registered place of residence but he’d spend at least two weeks per month in London with plans of moving here for good later in the year. So this whole marriage revelation made me realize that I was literally just his “side piece”all along. Nahhh fuck it, let’s call a spade a spade, I was smh! He had his wife sitting pretty over there in France and me, his lovely little piece of fluff over here in London. What kinda absolute bullshit is that please? Of course I should’ve knoooowwwwnnn lol. This scumbag really thought he could have his cake and eat it. Then he really thought that he could just block me and the baby out and happily get on with the rest of his life? Well little did any of us know that I’d eventually get through to this secret WiiiiiiFE of his and tell her EVERYTHiiiiiiNG. Once I told her and showed her the necessary receipts and evidence – he did in fact come clean to her that YES we had sexual relations but NO the child isn’t his. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS PRICK???? Well his wife was having none of it and she packed her bags and left him. The poor cow!! Imagine how she must be feeling in this whole situation as well. To make matters worse for her, he apparently told her that he doesn’t want any children with her. What a bloody nightmare…

As for me, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t seriously consider having this man killed. I did some digging online and managed to find his home address in France. Ohh I could’ve easily paid to have someone take him out for good! I’d also be lying if I said that I haven’t sent psychotic crazy emails, threats, you name it etc…Aaand I’d also be lying if I said that I didn’t cry my eyes out when he first cut me off after finding out I was pregnant because I couldn’t handle the thought of my child growing up without knowing who their father is.

But now I’m so cooooool. I AM CHILLING. I’m literally sitting on my throne laughing like “mwahahahahaaaa” simply because I know that knowone fucks with my integrity and gets away with it. I actually feel abit bad for how hard karma’s gonna bite that fool in his ass. My baby will not miss out on anything because a person like that has NOTHING to offer a child. I wish him the best I really do. Imagine if I’d have actually listened to him and had an abortion and a year or two down the line, found out that he is married. I would’ve definitely gone in for the kill ohh myyy. What a lucky escape!

None of us are perfect & we’ve all got our own cross to carry, plus everything has a price – therefore I cannot force a man to do ANYTHING!!


You see, the stage that I’m at in life, absolutely nothing can bring me down. I know that as long as I keep my integrity as a human being, i’ll always reign supreme and triumph over anything that comes up against me. The level of resilience that I have is crazy! Once again I stay winning, mainly because regardless of this drama, the lies and deceit, I have been blessed with the honour of bringing a precious new life into this world. And no matter what, i’ll always be eternally grateful for the life of this child.

A MESSAGE FOR THE PEOPLE: In life, we can either become victims of our downfalls and think why me anytime we face hardships, sit down and dwell on negativity and set backs ORRRRR we can consciously choose to enjoy and live this life to the fullest and push on no matter the situation…AND BE THE BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES!!




The internet (particularly social media) seems to bring out some form of anti-Christ in me. If anyone’s seen the movie “SAW” and knows of the main character that fucks with everyone’s psyche and orchestrates their deathswell yep, that’s pretty much me online dude. I seem to have a gift for fucking with folks on the net. Pure savagery. Some kinda toxic power! Heck, even Chris Brown’s blocked me before and I didn’t even go that hard on homie yo!

Since discovering my power I’ve had a lot of fun with it! However there have been some select occasions where I feel that I’ve taken things toO far and really upset some people that didn’t deserve it. And it’s times like that, that have often lead me to try and dig deep and explore exactly what it is that makes me do this whole anti-Christ Internet thing? What is behind it all?…Unfortunately I still don’t have the answers. All I do know is that there definitely is some kinda dark force behind it that I seem to fully embrace. Something definitely takes over meeee….

Now it’s time for me to hang up my gloves. As I’m about to embark on the wonderful journey of Motherhood – I’d rather focus as much energy as I can on that. Lord knows I’ve had some beautiful and satisfying beef online, emotional breakdowns, angry outbursts, you name it! But the show’s over now. No more, I promise 😉 I’ve “trolled”, harassed, stalked, argued, and been extremely verbally abusive. Ohh I’ve attacked and clashed with many folk!

I do have to say though, that I use the word “troll” quite loosely because while I have certainly been notorious online, never have I ever hidden or concealed my identity when doing so. I’ve never made up a fake name, page, or alias of some sort. Folks have always been able to see and source that it’s me Latoya Casely-Hayford – my real government name lol. I’ve felt no need to hide my identity if and whenever I’ve attacked. I’ve been honest and open. So I don’t know if the word “troll”is even valid or not.

Also, might I add. At times I’ve literally just spoken my mind and expressed facts. But because of the people pleasing, approval seeking world that social media is – people have tried to come back at me for being bluntly honest, in which case I of course clap back and shut them down completely. WAGWAN?!! Ohhh it has been fun though!…

Over the past year or so, I can definitely say that my antics have slowed down quite substantially. I’m not as savage as I used to be. Here are some examples below of recent outbursts that I have had though:

Above was me defending Kanye under some YouTube comments loool.

Above was me getting at Chidera and her movement. Then retracting a few days later. I received no response from her on both occasions. Do I blame her for completely ignoring my foolishness? No looool.

This was an email I sent to someone I actually know. I left a comment under a video that he posted up on his Instagram page of him rapping sayingYou need to come of Instagram altogether and pattern your shit up properly you people pleasing pussyhole!” He then immediately phoned me in response wanting to start an argument with me saying “What is wrong with you?! What is wrong with you?!” After which, I meditated on the whole thing and clapped back by emailing him the message that you see in the picture looool smh. Me and my antics…

So! Are my gloves reallyyyy off for good?? Who knows?? All I know is that if I ever return – its gonna be a madness loool!!

hopefully I’ll be strictly spreading love!X


(I originally wrote this a year ago when I was banged up in a prison cell. Little did I know that fast forward to a year later, I’d be pregnant with my first child!..& yes I still want to have an international army of mini-me’s)

Personally the whole idea of “settling down”, having a house, husband and children. You know, the whole “happy families” fantasy doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest bit. I am not on it! I know for a fact that I will absolutely get bored: now when Latoya gets bored and feels as though she is trapped in a situation it can be a very dangerous thing that could potentially result in death!

I’m constantly evolving and I believe that we meet people and connect with them for a reason and that person might be very necessary for you at that particular time but there is however, no obligation to stay or commit your life to someone. There’s something about “relationships” which holds a level of insecurity to it in my opinion. I feel like they come with an invisible pressure of commitment – which makes many people unhappy in theirs. (Some folks lack confidence and they tend to find a sense of security and assurance in their partners)

I’m not willing to compromise who I am for nothing or knowone. I was born to be free and I like to keep it moving. I mean, I already feel like I’ve been born into a world that has systematically mapped out a plan of my life for me: school, college, uni, work, marriage, kids, work, work, work, retire, DIE. And I’m sitting here thinking “YO! FUCK THAT” I’m doing things my way mate. Insha’Allah! I wonder how we’d all live if this generic life map wasn’t imposed upon us. I really wonder if folks would be happier, fearless and free spirited orrr if we’d have absolute MAYHEM…who knows?

Girl, I know what does and doesn’t work for me and devoting my soul to one person for my entire life really isn’t my style – it’s a myth!

I’m always changing my mind when it comes to kids and whether I would or wouldn’t like to have them. The idea of bringing offspring into this particular fucked up world that we’re living in today almost scares me. But at the same time I strongly believe that whatever’s meant to happen will do…if I do I’d like to have two black kids first <<< listen it’s so imperative that I do my bit to continue on the black race. Next I’d like to have a child with a white guy, Asian, Oriental, Spanish: Basically an international army. I AM DEAD SERIOUS! And we won’t be all sitting at a massive table eating a meal on some bullllshiiiit, oh no sweetie. I’ll be sending my mini me’s out to cause absolute havocccccc in this world and take over. Cause trouble mate!! Santa’s little helpers mwahahahaaa. My kids are gonna be soO savage omg! Oi listen! As soon as Latoya breeds – it’s a wrap for this world!!

+ Artist Appreciation +

DISCLAiiMER: I do not idolise anyone! Not even myself! Idolisation is the devil. It detaches us from our true, individual, unique self that we were born to be.

So! Here’s a list of some artists who my soul connects to. I see great potential in these folks (all of whom I’m still yet to meet) These creatives really speak to me through their art and I appreciate them alll! I have added relevant links to examples of each of their work or social media platforms for you to have a look and get a taste for yourselves.

1. KANYE WEST: I mean come on, need I even say anymore. I wrote a whole article explaining why I connect to this man!https://youtu.be/92FCRmggNqQ

2. KESH: Kesh is a visual artist from London. Listen, this girl is inside of my head maaaan. Seriously! She has dabbled in styling in the past and also worked with Kanye. Despite not being hugely recognised for her work on a commercial level, she is someone that I’ve had on my radar for yearsssss. And it was crazy a few years ago, when I went to a street wear fashion event (wearing 3 pairs of jeans at once, a see through mesh top with no bra, a massive brown crucifix drawn in my forehead & a lightening bolt arrow on my cheek) & this guy came and approached me and said “I love your look! Something about you really reminds me of my old flat mate. Her name is Kesh…” https://www.instagram.com/kesh/

3. EUGENE ANKOMAH: I LOVE THIS GUY!! Eugene is one of the only creatives on this list that I’ve had the pleasure of communicating with! Although, like all of the others, we’re still yet to meet…I discovered him via Instagram and was instantly in awe. His work holds soO much depth and POWER! Eugene is a phenomenal artist who deserves so much more recognition and is undoubtedly destined for great things. He is a game changer. I am deeply honoured to have even spoken to this guy!! Big up yourself Eugene loool!X http://eugeneankomah.comhttps://www.instagram.com/eugeneankomah/

4. FKA TWIGZ: Miss FKA is probably one of the only female musicians since Madonna, Grace Joans and Lady Gaga that possesses that fearless eccentricity that I love. Before I even discovered who she was for myself, I had people telling me to check her out and how she reminds them of me etc…But it wasn’t until I actually heard her talking on a radio show that I was like “who is this?” which lead me into researching her and I totally got it! She’s definitely someone that I’d like to style and collaborate with on some creative projects. https://fkatwi.gshttps://www.instagram.com/fkatwigs/?hl=en

5. JOMAR O’MEALY: Jomar is a photographer and videographer from London. He isn’t very well known at all. He is the second person on this list that I’ve actually communicated with too. I stumbled across a short visual that he’d edited and directed and I instantly felt drawn to it. I then researched further and found his Instagram page. Jomar really knows how to effortlessly embody that raw, gritty“darkness” that I love and I’d be honoured to work with him in the near future. I definitely see this guy doing big things!! https://youtu.be/H2vtHfQhOoIhttps://www.instagram.com/__jomr/


I refuse to explain myself. Or “the purposeof this blog. I’d rather you take from it what you will. Interpret things in your own way. I am however giving you a piece of me. A piece of my soul. While I continue to embark on this never ending journey of self discovery…WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!

+ LCH+


So if you’ve read my past articles (particularly “the spiritual awakening of LCH”) you’d know that I went through a profound stage in my life. I recently caught up with a friend who’d read and evaluated that I’d suffered a “mental breakdown”. I beg to differ. I just became fearlessly and extremely expressive with my unsettled disposition of living in such a controlled land. I wanted OUT big time.To be free! I gave up on conforming and being politically correct. The experiences and stories I have from this time in my life could probably fill up a few books easily. Easily! One of which was me STRIPPING NAKED IN COURT – here’s a snippet of what happened…




….I was bored and I’d had enough. I was arrested for destroying some furniture belonging to a hostel that I was staying in. They charged me with criminal damage and afray (let’s just say I had a rock in my hands and I threatened to throw it at an officer if he stepped any closer to me). From The court hearing however – you’d think I’d gone on a massacre and taken dozens of lives! They were longing the whole thing out big time and I couldn’t understand whyyyy? I’d been honest in my statement, what was the problem? After sitting there for ages and hearing them deliberate i began to strip! I took off everything that I was wearing, stood on a chair and said “ I’ve had enough” in a pleasant but direct tone. My stance was that of Jesus on the cross: my legs were together but arms spread wide apart, head thrown back. JESUS ON THE CROSS!

I knew exactly what I was doing: I wanted to fuck with everyone and take ownership of the moment. Plus I’d genuinely had enough!! I knew the power of a naked body of a black woman. But in my case I was on some cave woman shit. StoneAge! Au Natural babes loool. I had not shaved my legs, armpits or vaginal region for a while and my foot was dry so picture that! I’m sure THAT was the biggest offense they had seen that day pahahahaaaaa. SMH!

To be continued….




Why did we ever settle here in the first place and why do we get so angered when we suffer racism in a land that’s not our own? (I question this ignorantly prior to doing some further extensive research, studying and education of black history)

• I believe money and the system are a black person’s biggest enemy. They drain and water down our naturally fearless and powerful spirit.

• Has the society that we live in set us up to hate each other? Do we judge each other based on materialistic achievements, rather than who we are at heart as individuals?

• These so-called “roadmen, thugs & criminals” aren’t bad people, to me their more like “society’s rejects” Just because they may endeavour in non law-abiding activities doesn’t mean to say that they’re bad people at heart. There’s a deeper reason for it all…Folks need to be more mindful of the judgement and condemnation that they place upon these guys.

• Are we still slaves??

“Black Lives Matter” – why do we have to march and protest to remind the world that “we matter” that’s something that goes without saying surely?! Has our self esteem become so low that we feel the need to in fact remind OURSELVES that we matter, coz in reality knowone else gives a fuck as much as we do. We just end up being mocked…

I belong to a race that has been and still is, severely misunderstood, mocked and raped. We’re damaged goods. BUT SUPERBLY POWERFUL AND UNIQUE NONETHELESS. As a young black woman born here in the UK – with all of the current racial tensions coming to the forefront both in the media and in our everyday lives – I’ve found myself wanting to dig deep and further explore exactly who I am as a black female. (Particularly now that I’m about to become a parent to a black child too). At times, I’ve even contemplated moving to Africa: to get more in touch with my roots, my heritage. But Africa isn’t Africa anymore, it’s really corrupt…

{Now! While the colour of my skin absolutely doesn’t solely define me as an individual, it is huge part of me that I’m proud of and embrace entirely…}

So! It has come to my attention that my race is under attack big time! The world doesn’t want us to unite and love ourselves or each other. The world doesn’t want us to rise up as a people – for when we do, we’re very powerful indeed!



+ LCH +


(I originally wrote this almost a year ago. Kanye has since gone abit quiet but don’t be fooled folks – he’s plotting. Insha’Allah he’ll be back wiser and stronger…!!)

In my opinion, Kanye West is one of the most legendary artists since Tupac Shakur. However I believe that he is extremely misunderstood and will be better appreciated once he’s dead!

True art is provocative, strong and unapologetic – it’s contests what is perceived to be the “norm” and holds a strong message. Kanye West fully embodies these qualities of art and (whether you like him or not) his existence is very necessary or the that world we live in today!

I really connect to Kanye on a few different levels:

• First off is his intelligence: the guy is a trillion miles ahead of the game.

• Next is his so-called “rants” and levels of awareness: it’s clear to me that the guy is very awake and aware of what’s really going on in the world and he’s refusing to keep quiet about it which I absolutely love!

• He kinda looks like what the product of two of my brothers having a lovechild would look like (Now I know that’s abit fucked up but I’m sure you get what I’m trying to say loool) and some of his behaviour traits are the same as theirs and mine too haha

• His music and visuals: the level of depth and messages in them are dope! He’s a creative GENIUS and is great at expressing himself and channelling whatever he is going through into his art.

• He’s an interesting and entertaining character. A unique soul..

• What I recognise that he’s been going through is not a breakdown. It’s a man in pain. A man that feels somewhat trapped and is trying to break free from all forms of control. On a deeper level it’s actually Spiritual Warfare: he’s been under attack from all angles <<< those who know, know…

You know what yeah, forget about his music and creative endeavours. I just really understand and connect to him as a person, it’s mad!

Many artists nowadays seem to care more about being popular and making money rather than speaking their truth and sharing it – Kanye’s not conforming!

I am determined to meet and work with Kanye and I absolutely believe that I will. Listen, I won’t stop or quit until I do! Kanye and I meeting is inevitable and very necessary – he’s definitely my soul brother (we’re on a level on the spiritual realm. I know what I’m talking about trust me)

Regardless of whether you ROC with him or not. Regardless of whether you agree and understand the messages that he shares or not – just know that his existence is sooO necessary. Do not fuck with Kanye yo! The man is a POWERFUL FORCE!…I do think that he needs me though. He needs to be saved! Nah Kanye you actually do piss me off sometimes: to think I’ve actually deleted this post & re-published it a few times <<<wtf is all that about yo??? KMT!!


+what a HECK of a year+

(My year began with me working as a hostess in a restaurant until Valentine’s Day when I got arrested…that was the end of that job)

I remember having a conversation with a friend earlier this year and saying “I’m so ready for anything that life has to throw at me!” It was in early April when I’d just been released from a 9 week prison sentence for punching a colleague in the face. I was on such a high: feeling super positive and optimistic….but boy oh boy did I not know what was in store for me in the coming months ahead…I was to experience two things that had never hit so close to home before….DEATH & THE PROSPECT OF NEW LIFE!!!!!

New Opportunities:So! After being released from prison. I found myself back at square one once again in my mum’s house. Although I did feel quite optimistic about life and had things that I wanted to do, I still didn’t have a solid plan in place for myself…However things did appear to be looking up when I received an email for an upcoming underground magazine who’d been sent some of my styling work from a friend and were keen on meeting with me. I was so happy and excited, convinced that “God was working for me” and I was filled with hope!

I went for a meeting with the team from the mag at their offices and showed them all of my work – which they absolutely loved. They were so complimentary, thus they appointed me the role of the Head Stylist and welcomed me into their team straight away. Wow! I was happy but more nervous than anything else: I mean I had just come out of jail and hadn’t done any styling work for ages. To make matters worse, the role was unpaid and I reallyyy didn’t wanna stay at my mum’s house for too long at allll. I wanted to get money and get out!! Things were definitely looking uncertain. Was I biting off more than I can chew???

Conflict:I got kicked out of my mums. Urrrrggghhhh. So, upon returning home from a catchup with a friend one night, I was more or less greeted with a heated argument with my mum who was on a full blown rampage. She started removing my belongings from the house, declaring that she wants me out – before getting physically abusive with me. I soon found myself alone at a bus stop with nothing but my suitcase. I had phoned one of my older brother’s to ask if I could spend a night or two at his whilst I get my head together, but he told me he wasn’t in and advised me to take a bus ride around London – which I did while listening to music on my phone to keep me sane. I got as far as central London until my phone died and for some reason the only place that I could think of to charge it back up again was MacDonald’s Drive Thru in Wandsworth. So I made my way there and as soon as I entered, who do I see? My two older brothers who said they’d been trying to get a hold of me. Mad ting !!…After eating and deliberating for around two hours lol, my brothers decided to take me “home” back to my mums. I knew it wasn’t a good idea but fuck it – I just rolled with it anyway…It was a disaster. A shambles. Honestly it couldn’t have gone more wrong. It was like world war 3 broke out in that house. My mum even drew out a massive kitchen knife on everyone at one point kmt. Lame move bruh. It ended with Police turning up and my mum was the only one that opened her mouth, informing them that “us three older one’s have a criminal record, Latoya’s a trouble maker and she’s just come out of jail blah blah blah” My brother’s left after ordering me not to move a muscle but I exited shortly after. I was then probed by my brothers of whom I met downstairs before they walked off when they spotted the police leaving my mum’s. After being laughed at and warned not to return to my mums by the Police. I could only respond my telling them to “FUCK ORRRFFFFF!” I was left alone. My mind quickly began exploring all options:

  • Should I turn up at the council with my suitcase, declaring homelessness? Been there done that.
  • Do I think “fuck it” and sleep rough and homeless on the streets? Been there done that.
  • Do I act erratic and remove all of my clothes and walk the streets naked until an ambulance turns up and I end up getting thrown into a psychiatric unit? Been there done that.

I guess I was all out of ideas huh…At this point I felt like a complete and utter WASTE GIRL. It’s not like I was 16 or 17. I was 25 years old, had just been released from jail and kicked out of my mum’s house with barely a penny to my name. I started sinking!

Grandad: Something suddenly clicked! Grandad! It’s as if God just spoke to me. Listen I wasted no time love. I wheeled my suitcase, hopped on a bus and went straight to My Grandad’s. I knocked on his door and was greeted by a frail figure. “Grandad..?” (Ageing wise) my grandad had been on pause for my whole life and now he’d drastically deteriorated in the space of a few months. WTF? Anyway, I explained everything to him and he welcomed me to stay with him. I felt mentally unstable. While settling in at my Grandad’s I continued on with the magazine folk before quickly realising that I certainly did bite off more than I could chew boii. They quickly promoted me as their Fashion Editor, but mentally I wasn’t ready. Plus something in my spirit didn’t connect with the whole thing (especially after doing a few shoots with them) I quickly tapped out and cut ties with them.

Grandad’s still got cancer 😦In between me trying to give it a go with the magazine and trying to maintain sanity, I found out that my Grandad was still fighting cancer – which I blindly assumed had cleared. But in actual fact, the cancer had comfortably set up shop in his throat. Great…kmt!!

Did I just meet someone? (Somewhere in between me leaving the mag and finding out Grandad was sick) En route back home from visiting a good friend that I’d made in prison, I met a cool guy on the tube. We got talking and conversation flowed so beautifully! He asked me for my number and we went on a date the next day. The date went really well. We got on! Did I potentially just meet someone?? We began speaking daily while he was in France! He offered to create a website for me to aid me in rebranding myself as a creative. Nice!

Suicide: After parting ways with the magazine, I felt extremely lost AGAIN kmt! My phone was annoying me and the guy I met was in France for work. I destroyed my phone and threw it in the bin. I quickly sunk into a deep depression and decided to call it quits on life. I eventually bought a £10 phone so that I could at least communicate with Grandad. One night I told my Grandad I was going for a walk. Instead I bought around 15 packs of paracetamol from various convenient stores. I was confident that I wanted to die! I took about 120 Paracetamols before feeling intensely nauseous and throwing up viciously. I called the ambulance for myself like a proper fucking idiot! As soon as I told them how much I’d taken they put on the sirens and rushed me to hospital. I was shutting down. I didn’t die though. Obviously lol. (This was my second ever suicide attempt.) I was discharged from hospital after 2 days of treatment. I returned to Grandad’s. I figured it wasn’t my time to die and vowed that I’d never attempt to take my own life again no matter what.I’M HERE FOR A PURPOSE !!

Then Grandad dies 😦 The weeks ahead consisted of me spending quality time with my Grandad. Despite a few falling outs – we became like best friends and developed a respect and understanding like never before. He loved watching TV, particularly BBC News – which I hated but I had to respect that was his thing. The only thing I liked on the TV were music and radio channels. We’d take it in turns to watch our favourites lol. I was having to blend all of his food for him when Grandad started to struggle swallowing 😦 I was hardly leaving the house at this stage, I was happy and content being at home with Grandad. One day in the 3rd week of June, Grandad went out and when he returned home he was seriously weak. After giving him some water and both of us settling down to watch TV, he started loosing consciousness so I called the ambulance. He died the next day in hospital. I was completely broken. The next month consisted of funeral preparations, reuniting with long lost family members and reconnecting with and getting to know that guy that I’d met on the tube (I got a new smart phone and got my old sim back). We started seeing each other and got intimate really quickly. Listen! I needed some form of release from everything that was going on love! By the end of July – as a family, we’d paid our final respects to Grandad, which was an extremely difficult process. But on a brighter note a relationship had seemingly blossomed between me and the guy 🙂

Baby On Board: After clearing and evacuating Grandad’s place. I moved into a room in a private rented shared house. After everything that had happened I was so ready to really focus and build myself up again and make the most of life. I could feel the spirit of my Grandad within me and I felt strong and positive. I was also feeling hopeful about this relationship with the guy. Things were going well. Four days after settling in to my new place, something occurred to me MY BLOODY PERIOD WAS LATE AAARRRRGGGGHHH! My period was never late so this was strange. I casually bought a pregnancy test (thinking not too much of it, I really didn’t think I’d be pregnant at all tbh) The Results were positive. I’M PREGNANT!!! After getting confirmation from the doctors, I told the guy who insisted I have an abortion. NO CHANCE! And cut a long story short – that was the end of us. WASTEMAN!!

Fast forward to now and I’m currently six months pregnant and soO excited to be a mum! Since finding out, I’ve just been working, keeping my head down and trying my best not to threaten the guy’s life again 🙂


The key most important things that this year has taught me are:

  • Trust your struggle
  • Trust and believe in your own individual unique journey

• Life is short and precious

  • Everything’s connected: life is like a domino effect
  • GRATITUDE! I’m soO incredibly grateful for everything that has happened in my life thus far

So here’s to 2018! We made it yo!!


Here are some links from 2014-2015 when I was at my most creative, insightful and free stage of my life thus far…( just click on the titles to be taken thru)

My Spoken Word Tracks On SoundCloud

The World’s Most Random YouTube

A Gallery Of Photos Of My Style Back Then

Some Light-Hearted Articles Written For A Youth Mag


The First Music Video I Ever Styled

PLEASE FORGIVE ME RIHANNA- I do love u really I promise Above is a photo of me from November 2014. A freshly shaven head and a powerfully rebellious spirit. I was on a madness yo !!






WOW! So the past few years have been a heck of a journey for me. I’ve met so many different sides of myself that I never would’ve comprehended existed! The amount of different characters that I’ve transformed into have often left me gazing in the mirror questioning who the fuck I actually am &&& if I’m even human!?!?

2013 was the year that I’d say I “woke up” spiritually”. There were some specific chains of events that I believe aided this awakening of mine (however I don’t particularly wish to share them right now). Everything changed. I became a different Latoya. A new Latoya. Something inside me snapped and I was carrying a new energy about me. But at times it was so new, so fresh, so intense that I was bound for self destruction (or at least that’s what it’d appear to come across as in the eyes of society). The minute I decided to actively persue fashion styling – it’s as if a part of my brain was unlocked and a new level of creativity took over my soul in more ways than one. I began swinging from ALLL angles.

It’s as if Latoya the artist was officially born! 

I feel like when you’re living in such a system, then you suddenly “wake up” you’re bound to go abit insane at first and I did!

It started with my style changing and me adopting a severe appreciation for the colour Black!

• Next was the creativity and me truely realising and unlocking these gifts. Which all seemed to come in abundance!

• Next was my sexuality. I became more in touch with my sexual side. I embraced this and displayed it via my style and actions: I wouldn’t say I was “promiscuous” but I definitely became much more open sexually!

• I literally just did anything I felt like doing. Which inevitably proved to be both benificial and detrimental. 

As much as I know that I was spiritually awakened. I’m also convinced that I had a new source of FIRE in my soul. A Darkness. Something was definitely troubling me and it’s almost as if I were constantly trying to exorcise myself of this something – which resulted in me having certain episodes. I began battling with some SERIOUS  demons. As a result I developed a profound ruthless and rebellious attitude – particularly toward the system. Now if you wanna talk 0-100, maaaate, I completely SNAPPED!!!

I’d eat in restaurants without paying (because I could no longer understand why we have to pay for something designed to keep us alive)

• I’d travel on the trains and tubes without paying (I used to bunk the oyster barriers) 

• I completely stopped paying my rent ~ which resulted in me being evicted from my council accommodation 

• I smashed up my TV and stopped reading newspapers

• I became somewhat notorious online: Trolling and tormenting. I would send for people anytime I strongly felt the need

•My makeup had “gothic” elements to it & I’d draw a black crucifix on my forehead 

• I walked the streets naked on at least 3 different occasions

• I dabbled in drug dealing

• I was sectioned in a psychiatric unit of a mental hospital for a month, after threatening to murder a racist white police officer (and also had a few other shorter stints in there)

• I attempted to take my own life 

• I served time in jail on two separate occasions

• The type of people that I began to attract and get on with were on a DIFFERENT level


+ The End Of The World Is Near ++++++++++++++++++

It’s soO obvious. First off there is an unspoken spiritual and racial war underway. Donald Trump and his travel bans, Brexit, Black Lives Matter, and the Middle Easterns with their endless terror attacks. Evil forces are at work big time, a majority of folk are possessed- it’s all mad!!)

I strongly believe, in fact I know that the world is coming to an end. We are living in last days mate! Look! All of the tell tale signs are there: the advances in technology and the power it has over us, Donald Trump is the president of the USA……aaaaaannnnddddd the fucking famine kmt! The world that we live in today is in a unique state of darkness. I cannot believe that there is a bloodclart famine in 2017. How the fuck does that make sense please? What morally justifiable reason is there that people are being starved of the basic needs of human survival: foooood and waterrrrr! I find it absolutely outrageous that things are at this point in this day and age.

  • Secondly, humanity has changed sooO much. We’re all being brainwashed and controlled by technology via the internet. And this isn’t even exclusive to the Western world – it’s happening all over. We’re so preoccupied by what’s happening online that we’re completely loosing ourselves in it. Folks are busy people pleasing and trying to gain popularity by any means, rather than genuinely being creative and looking inside themselves. Social media is really fucking with people’s self esteem. We’re so distracted.
  • Children aren’t children anymore, they’re being robbed of having a proper childhood.
  • There’s a lack of authenticity in the creative industries- most things seem to have been seen and done already. Or people are copying others..
  • Mental health and suicide rates are at an all time high.
  • An untimely amount of folk are “coming out” as “lesbian, bisexual, gay & transgender “
  • Battle of the sexes < nuff said
  • Most of the greats are dead…
  • A lot of people have a unanimously “fed up” state of mind and are looking for an escape.

Sometimes I blink and look around and question where the fuck I am?!?! For as long as I’m alive I know that I will always have an unsettled disposition with regards to the state of today’s world. I can only find peace and happiness deep within myself, my faith, my spirituality and my art. Other than that, fuck this world man, I’m not of the world ~ I am not here!!

P.S. I don’t care whether you’re religious or not ~ if you have ever taken the time out to read the “Revelations” chapter of the Christian Bible, you will undoubtedly notice some uncanny  parallels with what’s going on in the world ((especially if you understand the parables))


R.I.P Planet Earth…& u know what GOOD RIDDENS! 

+ Taking Risks Pays +

I’m a strong advocate of Risk Taking!  To me, taking a risk means overcoming a fear of the unknown and listening to your higher self: that voice of God in your head that keeps encouraging you to follow your dreams, your passions or simply just do whatever you believe in your heart. Even if it doesn’t seem totally logical or you could potentially end up “broke”. I believe that we learn a lot about ourselves by taking risks: it builds strength, character and resilience.

  • There are a lot of people out there that have done the same thing year in and year out and they feel trapped and unhappy. They have “what if’s” plaguing their thoughts, all because they’re afraid to take a leap of faith.
  • Some are completely controlled by money and would rather remain in a profession or situation that they’ve grown to despise but still choose to stay because they’re afraid of being broke. The very idea of “not having enough money” is almost as equivalent to death which is really sad.
  • Others are simply “people pleasers”, they’d rather be part of a crowd and do what is expected of them. They’re afraid of  standing out and staying true to themselves so they avoid the risk of facing any possible opposition. Plus they worry too much about the thoughts and opinions of others.

Some of the world’s most inspirational and influential people were and are huge risk takers! They act more on a level of faith and confidence rather than logic alone. Things aren’t always going to be logical, as a matter of fact sometimes they may appear to make no sense at all – but if you maintain your faith and risk acting on faith alone (in some cases), you may actually find that you live an extremely fulfilling, purposeful and glorious life!!

+ My advice would be to stop living in fear and take a bloody risk. LIVE! +