- I LOVE ART
- I LOVE THE FREEDOM OF ART
- I LOVE HOW YOU CAN CONNECT TO SOMEONE’S SOUL THROUGH THEIR ART
So if you’ve read my previous post “What A Heck Of A Year” you’d know that I’m currently pregnant and that I was seeing the father of the baby up until I told him that I was pregnant and refused to have an abortion like he wanted me to. Which was therefore the end of our little thing that we had going on between us. The guy declared that he wants nothing to with both me and our baby and has since cut off all forms of contact.
WELL GUESS WHAT??It turns out that the deceitful motherfucker was married the whole damn time! Yep the other day I managed to track down a lady via instagram – who for whatever reason, I assumed was his sister or a relative of some sort but she actually turned out to be his WIFE OF 7 YEARS!! I was in complete and utter shock mate I tell ya.
While I was seeing this cunt, he’d often commute back and forth from Paris to London and vise versa. Paris being his registered place of residence but he’d spend at least two weeks per month in London with plans of moving to London for good later in the year. So this whole marriage revelation made me realize that I was literally just his “sidepiece” all along. Nahhh fuck it, let’s call a spade a spade, I was smh! He had his wife sitting pretty over there in France and me, his lovely little piece of fluff over here in London. What kinda absolute bullshit is that please? Of course I should’ve knoooowwwwnnn lol. This scumbag really thought he could have his cake and eat it. Then he really thought that he could just block me and the baby out and happily get on with the rest of his life? Well little did any of us know that I’d eventually get through to this secret WiiiiiiFE of his and tell her EVERYTHiiiiiiNG. Once I told her and showed her the necessary receipts and evidence – he did in fact come clean to her that YES we had sexual relations but NO the child isn’t his. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS PRICK???? Well his wife was having none of it and she packed her bags and left him. The poor cow!! Imagine how she must be feeling in this whole situation as well. To make matters worse for her, he apparently told her that he doesn’t want any children with her. What a bloody nightmare…
As for me, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t seriously consider having this man killed. I did some digging online and managed to find his home address in France. Ohh I could’ve easily paid to have someone take him out for good! I’d also be lying if I said that I haven’t sent psychotic crazy emails, threats, you name it etc…Aaand I’d also be lying if I said that I didn’t cry my eyes out when he first cut me off after finding out I was pregnant because I couldn’t handle the thought of my child growing up without knowing who their father is.
But now I’m so cooooool. I AM CHILLING. I’m literally sitting on my throne laughing like “mwahahahahaaaa” simply because I know that knowone fucks with my integrity and gets away with it. I actually feel abit bad for how hard karma’s gonna bite that fool in his ass. My baby will not miss out on anything because a person like that has NOTHING to offer a child. I wish him the best I really do. Imagine if I’d have actually listened to him and had an abortion and a year or two down the line, found out that he is married. I would’ve definitely gone in for the kill ohh myyy. What a lucky escape!
LCH CANNOT BE BROKEN
You see, the stage that I’m at in life, absolutely nothing can bring me down. I know that as long as I keep my integrity as a human being, i’ll always reign supreme and triumph over anything that comes up against me. The level of resilience that I have is crazy! Once again I stay winning, mainly because regardless of this drama, the lies and deceit, I have been blessed with the honour of bringing a precious new life into this world. And no matter what, i’ll always be eternally grateful for the life of this child.
A MESSAGE FOR THE PEOPLE: In life, we can either become victims of our downfalls and think “why me“ anytime we face hardships, sit down and dwell on negativity and set backs ORRRRR we can consciously choose to enjoy and live this life to the fullest and push on no matter the situation…AND BE THE BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES!!
The internet (particularly social media) seems to bring out some form of anti-Christ in me. If anyone’s seen the movie “SAW” and knows of the main character that fucks with everyone’s psyche and orchestrates their deaths – well yep, that’s pretty much me online dude. I seem to have a gift for fucking with folks on the net. Pure savagery. Some kinda toxic power! Heck, even Chris Brown’s blocked me before and I didn’t even go that hard on homie yo!
Since discovering my power I’ve had a lot of fun with it! However there have been some select occasions where I feel that I’ve taken things toO far and really upset some people that didn’t deserve it. And it’s times like that, that have often lead me to try and dig deep and explore exactly what it is that makes me do this whole anti-Christ Internet thing? What is behind it all?…Unfortunately I still don’t have the answers. All I do know is that there definitely is some kinda dark force behind it that I seem to fully embrace. Something definitely takes over meeee….
Now it’s time for me to hang up my gloves. As I’m about to embark on the wonderful journey of Motherhood – I’d rather focus as much energy as I can on that. Lord knows I’ve had some beautiful and satisfying beef online, emotional breakdowns, angry outbursts, you name it! But the show’s over now. No more, I promise 😉 I’ve “trolled”, harassed, stalked, argued, and been extremely verbally abusive. Ohh I’ve attacked and clashed with many folk!
I do have to say though, that I use the word “troll” quite loosely because while I have certainly been notorious online, never have I ever hidden or concealed my identity when doing so. I’ve never made up a fake name, page, or alias of some sort. Folks have always been able to see and source that it’s me Latoya Casely-Hayford – my real government name lol. I’ve felt no need to hide my identity if and whenever I’ve attacked. I’ve been honest and open. So I don’t know if the word “troll”is even valid or not.
Also, might I add. At times I’ve literally just spoken my mind and expressed facts. But because of the people pleasing, approval seeking world that social media is – people have tried to come back at me for being bluntly honest, in which case I of course clap back and shut them down completely. WAGWAN?!! Ohhh it has been fun though!
Over the past year or so, I can definitely say that my antics have slowed down quite substantially. I’m not as savage as I used to be. Here are some examples below of recent outbursts that I have had though:
Above was me defending Kanye under some YouTube comments loool.
Above was me getting at Chidera and her movement. Then retracting a few days later. I received no response from her on both occasions. Do I blame her for completely ignoring my foolishness? No looool.
This was an email I sent to someone I actually know. I left a comment under a video that he posted up on his Instagram page of him rapping saying “You need to come of Instagram altogether and pattern your shit up properly you people pleasing pussyhole!” He then immediately phoned me in response wanting to start an argument with me saying “What is wrong with you?! What is wrong with you?!” After which, I meditated on the whole thing and clapped back by emailing him the message that you see in the picture looool smh. Me and my antics…
So! Are my gloves reallyyyy off for good?? Who knows?? All I know is that if I ever return – its gonna be a madness loool!!
(I originally wrote this a year ago when I was banged up in a prison cell. Little did I know that fast forward to a year later, I’d be pregnant with my first child!..& yes I still want to have an international army of mini-me’s)
Personally the whole idea of “settling down”, having a house, husband and children. You know, the whole “happy families” fantasy doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest bit. I am not on it! I know for a fact that I will absolutely get bored: now when Latoya gets bored and feels as though she is trapped in a situation it can be a very dangerous thing that could potentially result in death!
I’m constantly evolving and I believe that we meet people and connect with them for a reason and that person might be very necessary for you at that particular time but there is however, no obligation to stay or commit your life to someone. There’s something about “relationships” which holds a level of insecurity to it in my opinion. I feel like they come with an invisible pressure of commitment – which makes many people unhappy in theirs. (Some folks lack confidence and they tend to find a sense of security and assurance in their partners)
I’m not willing to compromise who I am for nothing or knowone. I was born to be free and I like to keep it moving. I mean, I already feel like I’ve been born into a world that has systematically mapped out a plan of my life for me: school, college, uni, work, marriage, kids, work, work, work, retire, DIE. And I’m sitting here thinking “YO! FUCK THAT” I’m doing things my way mate. Inshallah! I wonder how we’d all live if this generic life map wasn’t imposed upon us. I really wonder if folks would be happier, fearless and free spirited orrr if we’d have absolute MAYHEM…who knows?
Girl, I know what does and doesn’t work for me and devoting my soul to one person for my entire life really isn’t my style – it’s a myth!
I’m always changing my mind when it comes to kids and whether I would or wouldn’t like to have them. The idea of bringing offspring into this particular fucked up world that we’re living in today almost scares me. But at the same time I strongly believe that whatever’s meant to happen will do…if I do I’d like to have two black kids first <<< listen it’s so imperative that I do my bit to continue on the black race. Next I’d like to have a child with a white guy, Asian, Oriental, Spanish: Basically an international army. I AM DEAD SERIOUS! And we won’t be all sitting at a massive table eating a meal on some bullllshiiiit, oh no sweetie. I’ll be sending my mini me’s out to cause absolute havocccccc in this world and take over. Cause trouble mate. Santa’s little helpers mwahahahaaa. My kids are gonna be soO savage omg! Oi listen! As soon as Latoya breeds – it’s a wrap for this world!!
DISCLAiiMER: I do not idolise anyone! Not even myself! Idolisation is the devil. It detaches us from our true, individual, unique self that we were born to be.
So! Here’s a list of some artists who my soul connects to. I see great potential in these folks (all of whom I’m still yet to meet) These creatives really speak to me through their art and I appreciate them alll! I have added relevant links to examples of each of their work or social media platforms for you to have a look and get a taste for yourselves.
1. KANYE WEST: I mean come on, need I even say anymore. I wrote a whole article explaining why I connect to this man!https://youtu.be/92FCRmggNqQ
2. KESH: Kesh is a visual artist from London. Listen, this girl is inside of my head maaaan. Seriously! She has dabbled in styling in the past and also worked with Kanye. Despite not being hugely recognised for her work on a commercial level, she is someone that I’ve had on my radar for yearsssss. And it was crazy a few years ago, when I went to a street wear fashion event (wearing 3 pairs of jeans at once, a see through mesh top with no bra, a massive brown crucifix drawn in my forehead & a lightening bolt arrow on my cheek) & this guy came and approached me and said “I love your look! Something about you really reminds me of my old flat mate. Her name is Kesh…” https://www.instagram.com/kesh/
3. EUGENE ANKOMAH: I LOVE THIS GUY!! Eugene is one of the only creatives on this list that I’ve had the pleasure of communicating with! Although, like all of the others, we’re still yet to meet…I discovered him via Instagram and was instantly in awe. His work holds soO much depth and POWER! Eugene is a phenomenal artist who deserves so much more recognition and is undoubtedly destined for great things. He is a game changer. I am deeply honoured to have even spoken to this guy!! Big up yourself Eugene loool!X http://eugeneankomah.comhttps://www.instagram.com/eugeneankomah/
4. FKA TWIGZ: Miss FKA is probably one of the only female musicians since Madonna, Grace Joans and Lady Gaga that possesses that fearless eccentricity that I love. Before I even discovered who she was for myself, I had people telling me to check her out and how she reminds them of me etc…But it wasn’t until I actually heard her talking on a radio show that I was like “who is this?” which lead me into researching her and I totally got it! She’s definitely someone that I’d like to style and collaborate with on some creative projects. https://fkatwi.gshttps://www.instagram.com/fkatwigs/?hl=en
5. JOMAR O’MEALY: Jomar is a photographer and videographer from London. He isn’t very well known at all. He is the second person on this list that I’ve actually communicated with too. I stumbled across a short visual that he’d edited and directed and I instantly felt drawn to it. I then researched further and found his Instagram page. Jomar really knows how to effortlessly embody that raw, gritty “darkness” that I love and I’d be honoured to work with him in the near future. I definitely see this guy doing big things!! https://youtu.be/H2vtHfQhOoIhttps://www.instagram.com/__jomr/
I refuse to explain myself. Or “the purpose” of this blog. I’d rather you take from it what you will. Interpret things in your own way. I am however giving you a piece of me. A piece of my soul. While I continue to embark on this never ending journey of self discovery…WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!
So if you’ve read my past articles (particularly “the spiritual awakening of LCH”) you’d know that I went through a profound stage in my life. I recently caught up with a friend who’d read and evaluated that I’d suffered a “mental breakdown”. I beg to differ. I just became fearlessly and extremely expressive with my unsettled disposition of living in such a controlled land. I wanted OUT big time.To be free! I gave up on conforming and being politically correct. The experiences and stories I have from this time in my life could probably fill up a few books easily. Easily! One of which was me STRIPPING NAKED IN COURT – here’s a snippet of what happened…
….I was bored and I’d had enough. I was arrested for destroying some furniture belonging to a hostel that I was staying in. They charged me with criminal damage and afray (let’s just say I had a rock in my hands and I threatened to throw it at an officer if he stepped any closer to me). From The court hearing however – you’d think I’d gone on a massacre and taken dozens of lives! They were longing the whole thing out big time and I couldn’t understand whyyyy? I’d been honest in my statement, what was the problem? After sitting there for ages and hearing them deliberate i began to strip! I took off everything that I was wearing, stood on a chair and said “ I’ve had enough” in a pleasant but direct tone. My stance was that of Jesus on the cross: my legs were together but arms spread wide apart, head thrown back. JESUS ON THE CROSS!
I knew exactly what I was doing: I wanted to fuck with everyone and take ownership of the moment. Plus I’d genuinely had enough!! I knew the power of a naked body of a black woman. But in my case I was on some cave woman shit. StoneAge! Au Natural babes loool. I had not shaved my legs, armpits or vaginal region for a while and my foot was dry so picture that! I’m sure THAT was the biggest offense they had seen that day pahahahaaaaa. Smh.
To be continued….
• ARE WE JUST TRAPPED INSTITUTIONALISED PUPPETS??
• ONCE GOD’S OF THE PLANET – NOW SCUM OF THE EARTH??
• Why did we ever settle here in the first place and why do we get so angered when we suffer racism in a land that’s not our own? (I question this ignorantly prior to doing some further extensive research, studying and education of black history)
• I believe money and the system are a black person’s biggest enemy. They drain and water down our naturally fearless and powerful spirit.
• Has the society that we live in set us up to hate each other? Do we judge each other based on materialistic achievements, rather than who we are at heart as individuals?
• These so-called “roadmen, thugs & criminals” aren’t bad people, to me their more like “society’s rejects” Just because they may endeavour in non law-abiding activities doesn’t mean to say that they’re bad people at heart. There’s a deeper reason for it all…Folks need to be more mindful of the judgement and condemnation they place upon these guys.
• Are we still slaves??
• “Black Lives Matter” – why do we have to march and protest to remind the world that “we matter” that’s something that goes without saying surely?! Has our self esteem become so low that we feel the need to in fact remind OURSELVES that we matter, coz in reality knowone else gives a fuck as much as we do. We just end up being mocked…
I belong to a race that has been and still is, severely misunderstood, mocked and raped. We’re damaged goods. BUT SUPERBLY POWERFUL AND UNIQUE NONETHELESS. As a young black woman born here in the UK – with all of the current racial tensions coming to the forefront both in the media and in our everyday lives – I’ve found myself wanting to dig deep and further explore exactly who I am as a black female. (Particularly now that I’m about to become a parent to a black child too). At times, I’ve even contemplated moving to Africa: to get more in touch with my roots, my heritage. But Africa isn’t Africa anymore, it’s really corrupt… Now! While the colour of my skin absolutely doesn’t solely define me as an individual, it is huge part of me that I’m proud of and embrace entirely…
So! It has come to my attention that my race is under attack big time! The world doesn’t want us to unite and love ourselves or each other. The world doesn’t want us to rise up as a people – for when we do, we’re very powerful indeed!
I AM URGING EVERY SINGKE BLACK PERSON TO STAND UP AND BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE!! WE ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN GOD’S AND GODDESSES OF THE PLANET. THE TIME IS NOW FOR US TO DECLARE OUR KINGDOM!!!
THERE IS A RACIAL AND SPIRITUAL WAR UNDERWAY RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE AND THE SOONER WE EMPOWER OURSELVES, UNITE AND ARMOUR UP WITH LOVE – THE BETTER!!!!
+ LCH +
(I originally wrote this almost a year ago. Kanye has since gone abit quiet but don’t be fooled folks – he’s plotting. Insha’Allah he’ll be back wiser and stronger…!!)
In my opinion, Kanye West is one of the most legendary artists since Tupac Shakur. However I believe that he is extremely misunderstood and will be better appreciated once he’s dead!
True art is provocative, strong and unapologetic – it’s contests what is perceived to be the “norm” and holds a strong message. Kanye West fully embodies these qualities of art and (whether you like him or not) his existence is very necessary or the that world we live in today!
I really connect to Kanye on a few different levels:
• First off is his intelligence: the guy is a trillion miles ahead of the game.
• Next is his so-called “rants” and levels of awareness: it’s clear to me that the guy is very awake and aware of what’s really going on in the world and he’s refusing to keep quiet about it which I absolutely love!
• He kinda looks like what the product of two of my brothers having a lovechild would look like (Now I know that’s abit fucked up but I’m sure you get what I’m trying to say loool) and some of his behaviour traits are the same as theirs and mine too haha
• His music and visuals: the level of depth and messages in them are dope! He’s a creative GENIUS and is great at expressing himself and channelling whatever he is going through into his art.
• He’s an interesting and entertaining character. A unique soul..
• What I recognise that he’s been going through is not a breakdown. It’s a man in pain. A man that feels somewhat trapped and is trying to break free from all forms of control. On a deeper level it’s actually Spiritual Warfare: he’s been under attack from all angles <<< those who know, know…
• You know what yeah, forget about his music and creative endeavours. I just really understand and connect to him as a person, it’s mad!
Many artists nowadays seem to care more about being popular and making money rather than speaking their truth and sharing it – Kanye’s not conforming!
I am determined to meet and work with Kanye and I absolutely believe that I will. Listen, I won’t stop or quit until I do! Kanye and I meeting is inevitable and very necessary – he’s definitely my soul brother (we’re on a level on the spiritual realm. I know what I’m talking about trust me)
Regardless of whether you ROC with him or not. Regardless of whether you agree and understand the messages that he shares or not – just know that his existence is sooO necessary. Do not fuck with Kanye yo! The man is a POWERFUL FORCE!…I do think that he needs me though. He needs to be saved! Nah Kanye you actually do piss me off sometimes: to think I’ve actually deleted this post & re-published it a few times <<<wtf is all that about yo??? KMT!!
DOCTOR JOSEPH EPHRAIM CASELY-HAYFORD. AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND TO ANYONE THAT KNEW HIM. REST IN PERFECT HARMONY. LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!